Friday, January 27, 2012

Shape shifters & the nitrogen cycle

Drink a lot of little water & you’ll see farther than you’ve ever seen. Focus on the furry animals that don’t exist. They are sentient, self aware, lovable and dangerous. Their dark coats tinged with the white of wisdom & the grey of suffering. Pet them & see if you can sense whether they’re purring or growling. You’ll soon find out. You’ll be food at the bottom or feasting from the top. Fuck the food chain you’ve cast off your familiar shackles. You’re gonna shift shapes either way. Once they bite they can taste your essence. They drink the familiar & devour the food. You get licked & sucked & brought to life or chewed & swallowed & reincarnated as whatever the shit you are might instill into life. It all depends on whether you’re riding your bike with the karmic wheels sailing off the ramp or if you’re just riding the nitrogen cycle & never leaving the dirt.

Reptiles don't need knives to be born

Hi there, fresh & clean outta the hot shower. Comin' atchya live from SheBaltimore, SheBoogie, SheVegas, SheBoomBoomBoomBoom. Just sitting here wondering about my relationship with the illusion of the universe. Didn't ask to exist but indeed I do I'm screwed. Hangin' by a thread from a spider-web, trapped & trying to avoid getting spun up, poisoned, paralyzed & sucked dry. Feel free to be fucked. Freewill? If it existed she would've taken the pill instead of spilling me out of her crotch using my first breath to scream, smelling the stench, getting my first glimpse of the sharp knives of life as the scalpel cut the cord. Life as a reptilian psuedo-mammal sucks from the get-go. I would have been much better suited to the external egg instead of the living incubator. It's actually easier nestled in the nest, warm within a cold hard shell; then it is to be sloshed around in the womb as she walks around and talks and gets fucked.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Single guys & dolls

This is something I wrote for a think-tank that I belonged to. It's my thoughts on a single female friend of a friend, and the single life in general, & single chicks in general.

Certain chicks & the dicks they love.. I can't resist stickin' my spoon into that thick bowl o'chowder.  It's interesting how women & men respond differently to the scent of desperation.  To men it smells like steaks on the grill, to women it smells like rotting hamburger.  Here’s my take on that.  Women tend to view themselves with inappropriately low self-esteem, & therefore think that any guy who comes on to “someone like me” must have something wrong with him.  Men, on the other hand, tend to have an inflated sense of self-esteem.  That leads them to be attracted to any woman that somehow “really gets how awesome I am”.

This setup works very well for predatory men, & of course, not so well for desperate women.  In the case of _____’s friend, it sounds like she’s also into superficialities, which makes her particularly vulnerable to douche-bag dudes, most of whom make sure to present themselves as GQ as possible.  [And no, I’m not just saying that because I possess, shall we say, “non-traditional good looks”. Lot’s of guys who have nice clothes, and don’t have beer-buddhas, are great people.]

There is one explanation as to why her friend has had nothing more than a string of bad relationships that no one has mentioned yet: it’s possible that she’s just lame.  As a “good guy” who’s single, let me tell you: if you think Nickelback rocks & Dane Cook is funny, there’s no way in hell I’m getting into a serious relationship with you.  There are legions of single women out there that have horrible tastes in everything & no real hobbies or interests.  Of course, there are plenty of guys out there who fit that description as well.  They’re pretty much the same type of playa’s your friend’s been fucking.